Are we making it better for the future generations to come?

I came across this post yesterday ‘How my goals have changed’ which piqued my interest. The last few days I have also been catching up with my family and all of this cumulatively got me thinking about the following..

• How my life was 5 years ago vs now
• My suffering paved the way for the future generation in my family and how I REALLY feel about it

So here’s the backstory for you readers to understand. My early 20s weren’t easy, like any other 20 something girl, I was drinking, partying, smoking, falling in love and doing all those things that a typical mallu household wouldn’t be okay with. For the longest time I lied about all of it and when I got caught — shit went down! It took me some time to digest that wait, it’s not okay for a 22 year old to get beaten up by her family. Anyways long story short after repeated fights, there came a point where I said I’m done. Done for me included leaving my house and sleeping in my car. When I finally got back home, we established some ground rules

Rule No 1: No more lies — I drink, I smoke, I have tattoos, I have friends who are men and I stay with them at times, learn to accept it

Rule No 2: Hitting is out the window — If anyone in my family raises their hand on me, I would leave and they wouldn’t hear from me

Rule No 3: I’m going to live my life on my own terms, I will make mistakes but I will learn and evolve on my own

Fast forward to the last few years — I moved out of my parents home in Dubai and lived on my own (ah! Business bay, I miss you), I got engaged on my own timeline with family not getting involved, I quit smoking (temporarily I guess!). I moved countries for my career, I’m in a happy live in relationship with my fiance and eventually will get married with the money we save up as a couple for our big day.

So now, here are those two things I mentioned on top

1. 5 years ago vs Now — Well this is a biggie! When I look back at it, I’m happy I rebelled, I had to bust my ass, fight a lot, become the black sheep, disappoint a lot of people to get to where I am today. I did lose a lot of people along the way but there were some that definitely stuck around (You know who you are!). In fact I know people who used to say ‘this girl will be the end of us’ and surprisingly now they’re super proud of me. LOL
2. The other day I was speaking to my sister in law and telling her how the younger generation in our family has it so much easier. Now drinking in our family isn’t such a big deal, you don’t have to hide or sneak out like I had to, you don’t have to cook up an elaborate lie to go on an overseas trip with your friends, you don’t need to switch into party clothes in your car. Probably some day inter religion marriage also would be accepted (who knows)

I’m glad the younger generation in my family have it easier but I’ll be honest, I’m selfish too, I wish I had people in my family that made it easier for me to just be myself without any filter.

To all those rebels/black sheep out there — More power to you! We need more people like you in this world.